Well, it’s been said, it’s been done and, from my point of view, it’s been made a career of – “Never smile at a crocodile” – so the saying goes. Now you can forget those snappy slow moving alligator chappies that spend their time lazing in luxury around Miami… and those 30 foot menaces that cruise the Bay of Bengal that I’ve heard about too. No, sir, it’s the tabloid and paparazzi friendly crocodiles of none-other than Northern Australia – the Northern Territory to be precise – that are the subject of this close study.

Unchanging Threat – Yet Constantly Front Page News

Why is it that earthquakes can happen in Asia, oil can spill in the Mexican Gulf and war can break out in the Persian Gulf, but the savagely sainted crocodile can still be making the front page on the “NT News” (the only newspaper in the Northern Territory) after what has really become millions of years of top of the food-chain lurking and skulking?

They can make front page news without batting an eyelid, practically without even moving: the venerable croc could just be eating a cow (see picture below), or a shark, waiting for a nude takeaway or crossing a road. Matter of fact it happens so often that you’d wonder that it comes as any surprise these days. But the NT, at only just over 200,000 people (spread over a fifth of Australia’s sprawling land mass) clearly isn’t big enough, or probably doesn’t have the readership (cos crocs don’t need to read, more on that cultural thingo later) to support two newspapers – say, NT News and Croc Daily – the latter would probably just be a slow moving hard-copy leather bound edition that doesn’t change for centuries.

And so you’ve probably got it there in a nutshell: the croc – like rock n roll, beer and sex  – is an unchanging thing, yet open to a range of combinations and permutations, that sees it continuing like Old Man Time himself. And if it’s one thing that we all want in our lives – whether we’re holidaying, travelling or just staying in one place – it’s a bit of routine, y’know something that we can rely on because it’ll stay the same.

But I think it’s more than that. A croc isn’t just something you can hang your hat on, call it home and know it’ll be there at the end of the day. No, as far as the News and the NT are concerned I think the truth runs deeper still.

The Northern Territory vs. The Crocodile

First up, let’s look more closely at what the NT and crocodiles have in common – apart from one having the ideal tropical climate for the other to live in and vice versa. We’ve covered the crocodile’s unchanging, slow moving exterior – their prehistoric survivalism that is both a window to an ancient past and a guide to a universe that acknowledges constancy. Their very prehistoric origins, their thick skin that ignores all change around them, their happiness to just laze in the sun and hang out by the pool and their general muted glee in the monsoon (as opposed to the illustriously crowded dry season) like a real local, only they don’t mind a tourist or too – all these things are what makes the croc and the NT synonymous.

Again – like rock ‘n roll bands that just won’t die and keep on touring and reforming – they are dinosaurs, which are both things close to the heart of the average NT person (or Territorian, as they prefer to be known). Territorian’s might be offered something new, but like a croc they’d like to kill something, chuck it aside and let it rot, until it’s just ready and old enough to consider.

The Ultimate Metaphor?

So what do you get when you put this all together – when you put the croc and the NT side by side? Well the NT News, that’s for sure – but what does this comparison really show? Is it a grand metaphor? An allegory? Could it be that the crocodile, like all these parallels it offers, is the ultimate metaphor for Culture in the NT? Slow moving, dinosaur-like, unchanging, with a fondness for laziness and a taste for a tourist or two. Innovation? A thing of the past, your crocs and Territorians would say. Fatboy Slim could almost be a Territorian name, judged as they are by the size of their belly. And “Why Try Harder When You’re Number One?” could well be the catch-phrase for flexibility, cunning and perseverance that they all imbue.

And would the NT News or your Territorian on the street take offense to all this, well like your average croc, it’s their thick skin that strengthens and protects them, allowing no barb to penetrate, no whiff of change to pass through, and no suggestion to land them in hot water.

The Cage of Death

These days, it seems the salt water crocodile is living up to its name, on recent occasions they’ve been seen to be sunning themselves on the city beaches – which is as close to the intrinsic notion of culture you might get. But, to be fair, I’ve yet to see “Croc orders beer in pub” (oh hang, it did walk into a bar) or “Croc caught DUI” (driving under the influence), so there are territories that the ancient beast of predation is yet to conquer.

But if you should go to Crocosauras Cove and go to the “Cage of Death” – where you are lowered into the water in a plastic “cage” with a 5 metre salt water crocodile languidly swimming laps around you – and should you sit in that cage and have him look you straight in the eye, his long thick tail slowly propelling him around you, his stubby, chubby little arms and legs gradually treading water, then you will probably notice that he’s not thinking “How can I get in there and get me a tasty tourist snack”. No, it’s more like, if I wait long enough, then they’ll probably just chuck them straight in the water for me. Why try harder? Why create a way to do it when it’ll come to you soon enough? Maybe town isn’t the place to look for the true innovators – out in the local springs there are things to be learnt about takeaways, waiting, and what a trap culture can really be.

- Jack “The Croc Hunter” Brown

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Northern Territory tours & things to do, especially the Cage of Death at Darwin’s Crocosaurus Cove and other Darwin tours & things to do.